33 Comments
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Jeffrey Streeter's avatar

Funny but also sad, Sue! I enjoyed your hilarious account of the local astronomy club - yet it perfectly matches with the discrimination and silencing that so many female scientists seem to have had to deal with.

In my day job I am lucky to have the chance to talk to a lot of brilliant young scientists, male and female. Things seem to have moved forward, but some way still to go.

Sue Sutherland-Wood's avatar

Thank you always for your kind and sensitive words and for understanding. Yes - still some way to go!

Mary B's avatar

"...we tend to just make a sandwich or lie down instead." Yes! Some things are best settled by both strategies: eating a sandwich while lying down can sort just about anything.

I loved that you watched Men in Black with your sons; what a dear thing your son said to you about his heart beating quickly. I said, "Ohhhhhh. . . . " out loud when I read that.

P.S. I had forgotten all about that ending to Men In Black. Thanks for posting the video!

Sue Sutherland-Wood's avatar

So lovely you are Mary B! Thank you for this and for understanding as always xo

Lani V. Cox's avatar

Sadly, I think I would have gotten along with those men from the astronomy club. High school theatre has that level of nerd + obnoxiousness + the repeating of lines ad nauseum, ad infinitum. 🤓

But like you, I have a love of the stars and the mysteries of the universe. I fondly remember rereading a children's book that explained all the different types of stars in bright primary colors and bold print. I also took an astronomy class in community college. I think I would have pursued it if it wasn't for the math!

Spock! 🖖

The MIB ending does lend itself to perspective and I deeply admire your ability to meditate and contemplate the vastness of space! 🤩

Sue Sutherland-Wood's avatar

Thanks Lani for this detailed response. This felt hard to write somehow but then basically wrote itself.

Susan Colleen Browne's avatar

This is wonderful, Lani! Surely meditating on the vastness and wonder of space makes us more human 😊

Elizabeth Beggins's avatar

So many great lines and truths here, Sue. “Make a sandwich or lie down” “Big Ten Inch” 😅 The part about stereotypes. I will remember how you calm yourself with thoughts of space; sounds like a useful tool. Maybe we need a way to quantify the brightness of women in history before their achievements were dimmed by ego-driven men!

Sue Sutherland-Wood's avatar

Yes! And, thank you for these thoughtful words.

Karen Rand Anderson's avatar

This is a wonderful "made-me-think" post, Sue. In fact, I've been doing quite a bit of astral thinking (possibly even projecting) lately, ruminating on extreme other realties that certainly exist outside our own little bubble of space and time, and our limited consciousness that has such trouble grasping them. Thanks so much for posting the mind-boggling MiB clip. Now I'll have to go watch the whole thing as it has totally faded from memory. It seems the whole alien thing has FINALLY reached daylight. It's about time. I've seen lots of what we used to call UFO's in my lifetime, and have been waiting for contact forever!

"...in real life it’s simply too much to process for most of us and we tend to just make a sandwich or lie down instead." Indeed!~~! xox KRA.

Sue Sutherland-Wood's avatar

Truly excellent comment Karen - so pleased this wasn't too out there for my readers! Xo

Catherine Morrisey's avatar

Thanks for making me laugh six times and let my tea get cold so I could read to the end. Now everytime I need to go lie down I’ll ponder your brother’s question, “And what was God standing on when he created the universe?”

Sue Sutherland-Wood's avatar

Thanks for this, Catherine! I love that you enjoyed my brother's 6 years old philosophical take on things lol

Jean Shields Fleming's avatar

Love this, Sue - the humor that is like a light layer of delicious frosting atop some very deep reflections. And I too am an astro geek. I worked in the astronomy library in college and joined a local star gazing chapter during one very lonely phase in my 30s. Not quite as geeky as yours, but not far off. Still, though, the stars always satisfy. Thanks for this!

Sue Sutherland-Wood's avatar

Lovely to find this comment Jean! Thank you for understanding so well. ‘Astro Geek' lol.

prue batten's avatar

I did laugh at your incredible 'space journey' with those dreadful nerds. How on earth did you manage to keep a civil tongue?

I love star-gazing at night. We're fortunate to live in a place with little artificial light so night skies are jaw-dropping. And whilst I want to know the names of the various stars, I have no wish for any country to send rockets and space debris into that wonderful environment. Let it be. Concentrate on our own environment - the same amount of money and energy could do so much good on our planet and our pristine, glittering heavens would remain pure and undiluted.

Re the MiB vid, I had to close my eyes and turn away as it was a perilous path to vertigo and even watching the heavens at night, I have to lean against something so I don't fall over. Worth it all though. Last night, it was a telegraph pole and the dimension of sparkle on black just stretched to infinity. XXX

Sue Sutherland-Wood's avatar

Yes I can only *imagine* the quality of your star-gazing, Prue!

Sorry about the vertigo as I sometimes get that "top shelf syndrome" myself and understand - it's the worst - and I know your own issues are more intense.

Susan Colleen Browne's avatar

Gorgeous, Prue! I too feel strongly about all the tech clutter going into space. We have happily boycotted a certain really *eccentric* billionaire who sends another new satellite into space, one after another, and now there are untold thousands.

prue batten's avatar

That awful man. I just have to believe in karma...

Dennis Bodzash's avatar

It sounds like you ran into 'The Big Bang Theory' astronomy club! Trust me, you had an outlier of an experience. Everyone I ever met through the club I used to belong to was respectful and helpful-even to the teenager version of the now 40-year old me!.

Sue Sutherland-Wood's avatar

Haha! Excellent analogy, Dennis. You are absolutely right my group may well have been "special," and I'm sure another club might be a different vibe altogether. Also, this *was* years ago. Perhaps one day I will try again. Thank you for commenting!

Dennis Bodzash's avatar

Trust me, most amateur astronomers are not a bunch of man-child creepers!

Bryan Parker Lavery's avatar

I've read this essay several times and listened to it on Substack again just now. I am completely captivated by your voice. The parenthetical asides are a masterstroke, they offer a delightful, conversational intimacy while flawlessly balancing profound existential thoughts with your sharp, laugh-out-loud wit.

The vignette of the childhood bookstore is so flawlessly rendered that I could almost feel the dust motes spinning in the slanting sunlight and smell the old paper and leather. But the true emotional anchor is your son’s reaction to Men in Black. That tender moment, with his whisper about his heart beating fast, perfectly captures that sudden, universal jolt of realizing just how vast the universe is. And I loved your handling of the astronomy club, the contrast between your poetic reverence for the cosmos and the roaring immaturity of the group is brilliant, written with striking resilience and restraint. It is a stunning piece of storytelling.

Sue Sutherland-Wood's avatar

Bryan, thank you for these extremely generous comments and your (always) careful reading.

Jen Brown's avatar

Just had cataracts removed....the best part was stepping outside in my backyard in old south and seeing a few stars again. Would like to have the province turn off lights a few times a year so we all could start gaze without travelling(using up gas) I would also like to be a tall slim and have good knees again. Love reading your pieces

Sue Sutherland-Wood's avatar

Feel better soon regarding cataracts! And thanks always for being you and being here Xo

Susan Colleen Browne's avatar

Dear Sue, I was so moved and entertained by this I hardly know how to express it! Your line—“a desire to interpret and understand quantum physics in a William Blake/Walt Whitman kind of way” expresses my own yearning absolutely perfectly.

My heart goes out to you as a girl and all the other little girls who were discouraged from following their bliss. So let’s hear it for the ones who kept going…including you, all the way to the Astronomical Society full of really strange dudes! (Completely unreal, especially comments re their..ahem! large telescopes!!!)

I never saw “Men in Black” so when I viewed the ending, I gasped aloud. I can’t thank you enough for sharing your experiences!

Sue Sutherland-Wood's avatar

Thank you so much Susan! I cannot say how pleased and validated I feel to read a comment like this. Much appreciated Xo

Mare's avatar

Brilliant!! This was very funny!! And so true!!

It brightened my day (no pun intended)

Sue Sutherland-Wood's avatar

Thanks Mare!! And you've heard these stories before lol Xo

M Bernice Page's avatar

Star gazing is a lovely activity. I have always loved it and miss the Southern Hemisphere very much.

Thank you for reminding me Sue.

Bernice

Sue Sutherland-Wood's avatar

I have a Substack friend in Tasmania and she says there's virtually no light pollution. A girl can dream, that would be incredible! Thank you dear Bernice Xo