I've been accused of ruminating, not being able to let go of hurtful words, thoughtless comments directed not just to me but also to others. I am told that this can be evidence of being an empath. In my 44 years of practice in Physical Therapy, why do I still remember , with shame, the 2 mothers who didn't want me as their child's therapist when hundreds of others requested me specifically. Why can't I focus on the burn patient who wept because I was the only one who would touch him? Or the small child who wished I was her mommy.
And yes, at 71, it is hard to realize that I am a senior citizen, one who now loves a quick nap and an earlier bedtime. One, who sees 2 hours in the pool as the one outing I can manage in a day. I ,too, have had to embrace the addition of Statins and some other medications to keep other, life-changing conditions at bay.
In my heart, I am still the young woman struggling with not being "enough". I am still the sleep deprived mother and frustrated step mother of teenagers. I am the single mom. I am the woman juggling family and career, sacrificing my marriage and my health. And now, I am retired, trying to remove some of the many hats I have worn.
Now, I seek, and often find the everyday sacred even as I ache with concern for my loved ones, for my community, for our country.
Such an eloquent and honest reply, Susan. I think every woman's practise should involve being much kinder - to herself - even though that now sounds like a corporate meme. I think you are correct about the empath thing as well. Thank you so much for this.
Dark nights of the soul ....I find it's the kindest caring sensitive person who is plagued by them its the burden of being a truly caring person. And damn it cheese is the nectar of the gods
Cheese is not gone forever, I cannot be that monk haha! And you are one of the sweetest people I know. I still remember (because I'm like that!) all those lattes you used to bring me during Storytime. Cheers for this too xo
I've found that many things in your own writing resonate with me too, Bryan. And thinking too much is not *always* a flaw either. Happiest Easter to you as well.
Absolutely relatable and so well written. Thank you for sharing your insight, which certainly hits the markets of what do many of us, “ of a certain age” think and feel.
I can relate to the overthinking, but not the good memory part. I have a shit memory and after listening to you, I'm thinking maybe that's not such a bad thing...
Senior citizen makes me chuckle, honestly. Maybe I'm still young enough at 50 to be in denial of what is happening. That said, sorry to hear about the "fairground psychic" do-gooder, but congratulate yourself because the description of "fairground psychic" is hilarious.
I heard that if you drink carrot juice it helps to lower your cholesterol. Give it a try before your next test. I'd be curious. Or better yet drink it more often!
Yeah, Sue, wish I had some sage advice. Don't worry, we'll all be dead soon? No, that's not the right tone...hmmm, oh I know what I try to remember: Don't take things too seriously. That helps me. Hugs!
Yes at 50 you are still a young pup though you may not realize it - I'm 64 now and it is quite weird at times to even say that out loud! I actually poured this piece out of me but in real life, I am not wringing my hands every day, weeping and checking for age spots etc. It was just a series of unfortunate events that tipped the scales. Carrot juice? Noted.
Thanks for calling me a young pup. I'm going to keep that with me throughout the day. 🥰 And yes, I understand. There have been times when I've read comments of great concern about whatever I wrote, and I had to tell them, I'm fine, that's the beauty of writing, I got it out of my system. 😉
I know exactly what you mean! Senior indeed! Over my dead body!
And I feel for you with the statins - I love yoghurt and milk, cheeses to a point, and chocolate. If I become diabetic, I'm sunk!
Sue, self talk is painful - you and I know this, don't we? But when I saw your pic I was immediately put in mind of famous ballet dancers I am aware of and that's a huge compliment. Besides, if our partners and our terriers love us for what we are, what else matters?
Lots of love on this Easter Sunday from my temporary hospital bed.
Thank you Prue - as always, you are the voice of reason and kindness. And thank you for the compliment!! I do feel popular here at home at least ha xo P.S. Get well asap
This is so good. I loved it. My dread had no name, but it has been gone for a year or so. You are so funny, I loved the healthy biscuity thing that reminded you of something you'd pull from your pocket to give to a horse. And I can't stand the term senior citizen too. Ugh. Fortunately for me, I can't remember anything these days, and any taunts or dismissive words vanish along with everything else. My sister, on the other hand, remembers every slice if pie I had that was bigger than hers, and holds it against me. Now I have to read everything you've posted.
Thank you so much for this, Abigail - I am re-reading your comments over and over and possibly jumping up and down ... can't pretend to be all casual-like when I'm thrilled xo
I've been accused of ruminating, not being able to let go of hurtful words, thoughtless comments directed not just to me but also to others. I am told that this can be evidence of being an empath. In my 44 years of practice in Physical Therapy, why do I still remember , with shame, the 2 mothers who didn't want me as their child's therapist when hundreds of others requested me specifically. Why can't I focus on the burn patient who wept because I was the only one who would touch him? Or the small child who wished I was her mommy.
And yes, at 71, it is hard to realize that I am a senior citizen, one who now loves a quick nap and an earlier bedtime. One, who sees 2 hours in the pool as the one outing I can manage in a day. I ,too, have had to embrace the addition of Statins and some other medications to keep other, life-changing conditions at bay.
In my heart, I am still the young woman struggling with not being "enough". I am still the sleep deprived mother and frustrated step mother of teenagers. I am the single mom. I am the woman juggling family and career, sacrificing my marriage and my health. And now, I am retired, trying to remove some of the many hats I have worn.
Now, I seek, and often find the everyday sacred even as I ache with concern for my loved ones, for my community, for our country.
As always, your work is evocative! Thank you
Such an eloquent and honest reply, Susan. I think every woman's practise should involve being much kinder - to herself - even though that now sounds like a corporate meme. I think you are correct about the empath thing as well. Thank you so much for this.
I resonate with you through this REAL reply. Thank you!
Dark nights of the soul ....I find it's the kindest caring sensitive person who is plagued by them its the burden of being a truly caring person. And damn it cheese is the nectar of the gods
Cheese is not gone forever, I cannot be that monk haha! And you are one of the sweetest people I know. I still remember (because I'm like that!) all those lattes you used to bring me during Storytime. Cheers for this too xo
I savour your writing. It is so relatable, incisive and disarming. I too have been told many times in my life that I think too much. Happy Easter.
I've found that many things in your own writing resonate with me too, Bryan. And thinking too much is not *always* a flaw either. Happiest Easter to you as well.
Absolutely relatable and so well written. Thank you for sharing your insight, which certainly hits the markets of what do many of us, “ of a certain age” think and feel.
Welcome, Sarah. Thank you for this lovely comment.
It's so gratifying when someone "gets" it AND also lets me know! Much appreciated.
I can relate to the overthinking, but not the good memory part. I have a shit memory and after listening to you, I'm thinking maybe that's not such a bad thing...
Senior citizen makes me chuckle, honestly. Maybe I'm still young enough at 50 to be in denial of what is happening. That said, sorry to hear about the "fairground psychic" do-gooder, but congratulate yourself because the description of "fairground psychic" is hilarious.
I heard that if you drink carrot juice it helps to lower your cholesterol. Give it a try before your next test. I'd be curious. Or better yet drink it more often!
Yeah, Sue, wish I had some sage advice. Don't worry, we'll all be dead soon? No, that's not the right tone...hmmm, oh I know what I try to remember: Don't take things too seriously. That helps me. Hugs!
Yes at 50 you are still a young pup though you may not realize it - I'm 64 now and it is quite weird at times to even say that out loud! I actually poured this piece out of me but in real life, I am not wringing my hands every day, weeping and checking for age spots etc. It was just a series of unfortunate events that tipped the scales. Carrot juice? Noted.
Thanks for calling me a young pup. I'm going to keep that with me throughout the day. 🥰 And yes, I understand. There have been times when I've read comments of great concern about whatever I wrote, and I had to tell them, I'm fine, that's the beauty of writing, I got it out of my system. 😉
I know exactly what you mean! Senior indeed! Over my dead body!
And I feel for you with the statins - I love yoghurt and milk, cheeses to a point, and chocolate. If I become diabetic, I'm sunk!
Sue, self talk is painful - you and I know this, don't we? But when I saw your pic I was immediately put in mind of famous ballet dancers I am aware of and that's a huge compliment. Besides, if our partners and our terriers love us for what we are, what else matters?
Lots of love on this Easter Sunday from my temporary hospital bed.
Thank you Prue - as always, you are the voice of reason and kindness. And thank you for the compliment!! I do feel popular here at home at least ha xo P.S. Get well asap
This is so good. I loved it. My dread had no name, but it has been gone for a year or so. You are so funny, I loved the healthy biscuity thing that reminded you of something you'd pull from your pocket to give to a horse. And I can't stand the term senior citizen too. Ugh. Fortunately for me, I can't remember anything these days, and any taunts or dismissive words vanish along with everything else. My sister, on the other hand, remembers every slice if pie I had that was bigger than hers, and holds it against me. Now I have to read everything you've posted.
Thank you so much for this, Abigail - I am re-reading your comments over and over and possibly jumping up and down ... can't pretend to be all casual-like when I'm thrilled xo
It’s better to light a candle than to curse the darkness
I remember when I got to request the senior discount and when I went to a senior outing. Oh my, I could write a whole piece on that.
And all of the mail that comes to fix teeth, medicate, cut, cover, mask, bla bla bla…
Your piece is exquisite
I found you through Abigail Thomas. you left a link there and I’m really glad you did.
I’m going to read more of you
Thank you and excuse the typos on this tiny phone
💜
Welcome Prajna! And thanks so much for these heavenly comments. They are truly
appreciated :)
Oh Lor! What a great surprise to have you here.
Thank you so much for this and your kind comments - I am thrilled to be back in touch xo